And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
