12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Bring me that man meat
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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