I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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