I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
