whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just found puke in my bra..
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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