I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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