morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
