I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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