Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
