just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
