oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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