a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
