I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize