dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
