I'm lost and stupid without you.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
