id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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