she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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