Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
