woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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