sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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