He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
