lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize