Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
