I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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