i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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