She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
