just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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