It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
