By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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