I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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