The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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