I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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