Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My ass is underappreciated
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
