another moral hangover. fuck.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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