I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
my shit smells like andre
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You need Xanax blowdarts
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
All the doctor said was why
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize