so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
