were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
