Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i think im in europe. pls send help
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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