fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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