So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize