Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
