Me too!
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
