New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You ruined the universe
Randomize
