I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
