Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
