addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
