Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
FUCK WHALES
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
