he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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