I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
