can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
