I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
These tits shall not be calmed
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
