make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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