ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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