I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
