one two three fourrrrnication!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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