Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Mom said you looked used
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
