I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hippo gnu deer
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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