she woke up with a sticky ear
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
