my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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