i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Randomize
