So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
