the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
someone owes me an orgasm
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize