I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
