i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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