Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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