Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
