I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
