Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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