just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
