it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize