I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
