In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
