Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
