You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
