i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
