'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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