Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
