you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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