Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
