He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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