Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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