Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You are the jesus of drinking
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
