i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
